JKU President Admits to Using Panama Papers

University president Dr. Hugh Moore, Jr. this morning released a statement disclosing that he has used the Panama Papers regularly in recent years. This statement comes just after international news coverage disclosed the existence of the papers and their use by other notable leaders worldwide, including Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Moore, in his statement, said “When I learned that there was global concern about those using the Panama Paper, I immediately switched to a new brand. I will continue to roll the Panama Red bud when I can find it, but I will not longer use the Panama Papers. I’ll probably just go back to Zig Zag.” When asked if he had read the detailed new coverage of the Panama Papers Moore admitted that he had not, but that he’d get around to it “after running to Taco Bell and finishing off some cool ranch Doritos.”

JKU’s provost, Hillary Yus, spoke with the media following the release of Dr. Moore’s statement. She said “the faculty at JKU is not surprised by the statement or Dr. Moore’s involvement. As you all know, Dr. Moore is deeply committed to higher education. Our staff, faculty, and students all stand beside him despite any involvement in this international scandal.” At this time Mr. Moore has asked for his privacy. A press conference is being arranged for 4-20.

Dr. Hugh Moore is Joseph King University’s president, and is the son of one of our founders, Dr. Hugh Moore, Sr. Joseph King University is rooted in a history of heritage, thought leadership, and all around excellence. Our mission is to stay true to the wisdom of our founders who felt young minds were best molded in an environment of coddling, sensitivity, and appeasement. The University strives to shepherd the disillusionment of incoming students, ensuring them of their foremost standing in society. And above all, we are… Joe King U!

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